For years I lived with an Ogre of Unpleasant Proportions. He was critical, distracting, grumpy and selfish. I got to the point where I chose not to engage in conversation because it always ended up the same. His repetitious negativity became so boringly predictable. Even while ignoring him he took up a lot of space and wasted an enormous amount of my energy. He sat on the vacuum cleaner so I couldn't clean. He locked the front door and hid the key so I couldn't go out. He followed me around putting things in my way so I was constantly tripping up.
Finally, I had had enough. In the middle of a whingy gripe, I turned on him. I locked eyes on him. "You are not welcome here. I know where you came from and you can't fool me that you belong here. We are not related. You are an alien. Get out! I am not listening to you any more. Get OUT!"
He was caught off guard and took a staggering backward step, mouth agape, reaching out behind himself to steady his step. I capitalized on this. Stepping forward, I reached past him and flung open the front door. Taking a second step, I gave him a shove in his bulging belly and pushed him out the door, slamming it shut the moment he was through it.
To my great surprise, in this same moment, a cupboard behind me swung open and out tumbled a handsome prince. He stood up and brushed himself off, smiling at me winningly. "You just as I imagined all these years!" he grinned. "I am at your service."
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